September 22, 2023
Friday 9:55AM
This morning i found myself in a moment of being utterly overwhelmed and weak. For over the last eight years our Lord, in His Word by His Holy Spirit and by the Spirit-filled teachers of His Word, has been teaching my husband and i the purpose for which we were created.
Eight years ago our Lord Jesus opened our hearts to understand and know that we ultimately were created through Him and for Him! (Col. 1:16) That was an incredible paradigm shift for us. A relief! To have the lie that we were created to seek, pursue and create our own happiness dispelled! This new wisdom provided freedom that we had never known before! Freedom from the pursuit of happiness and freedom to rest in Jesus! Realizing that Jesus is our joy! Our delight! Our pleasure and our treasure!
He is the One for whom we were created and it was natural that we were drawn to get to know Jesus, the Jesus of the Scriptures! Here's the reality. The more we read and study the Word of God and the Holy Spirit interprets it from inside of us, for us...the deeper understanding we glean of our purpose. Our purpose as a human. Our purpose as a male or a female. Our purpose as a son or a daughter. Our purpose as a husband or a wife. Our purpose as a dad or a mom. Our ultimate purpose for being. And that ultimate purpose is to know God, to enjoy God and to glorify God, forever! And on the road to forever - to eternity, to glory - we have these roles that come with responsibilities.
For example, I am:
1) A human being.
2) A Woman.
3) A daughter.
4) A sister.
5) A wife.
6) A mom.
7) A grandma.
8) An aunt.
9) A friend.
10) A neighbor.
11) A natural born citizen of the United States of America.
12) A supernatural born citizen of the kingdom of God.
These are just twelve of many identifiers. With each one of them comes relationship and responsibility. Our understanding of number one will ultimately determine how we understand and live out all the rest.
For the first 37 years of my life in this world, i lived as a human being believing that my purpose was to seek and find and create if i had to, happiness. That was a very long and difficult road to travel. It was full of heartaches, disappointments, a multitude of failures, me contributing and causing others much pain and suffering, enduring much pain and suffering by others, seeking new journey after new journey, setting goal after goal after goal and then pursuing them, finding satisfaction then only to discover it wasn't really satisfying, feeling successful in one area only to realize I wasn't in so many other areas, etc. That is a brief but accurate portrayal of my life as a human being the first 37 years of my life.
But then, at age 37 all that changed! My understanding of what the purpose of being a human being was radically changed! Something had taken place in my life that caused me to purchase a Bible on line. Once it arrived i began reading it profusely. My soul was so hungry and those words were the only thing that satisfied my hunger. The something that took place in my life that i mentioned above had changed me, yet i honestly had no idea what that "something" was. As i read the Bible, things began to start making sense. Like dots that were disconnected started to connect! And i will never forget the relief of coming to John chapter 3! i read this conversation that Jesus had with Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader. Jesus was explaining to Nicodemus that he must be born again. When i read that conversation i realized that that was what happened to me. Being born again was exactly what that "something" was! What i had been experiencing felt exactly like being born all over again, yet as a 37 year adult and at the same time left me feeling like a complete child rediscovering the world with new sight. Everything i thought i knew was wrong. Beginning with the purpose of my existence. You see, i had always believed that God created me. i never doubted His existence for as long as i can remember. But i was under the impression that He created me for me and that it was my responsibility to seek and find my own happiness. That played itself out in many ways and was changing all the time. Sometimes success made me happy. Sometimes people made me happy. Sometimes things made me happy. Sometimes money made me happy. Sometimes places made me happy. It was always changing and therefore all of the relationships above would change along with the target of whatever it was on any particular day that made me happy. But when i came in my profuse reading of the Bible to the book of Colossians chapter 1 verse 16 - the lie that i had always believed that God created me for me and my purpose was to find, in the world, what would make me happy was exposed. The lie was not so much about finding happiness as it was more about the whom i was created for. These words, God's words:
"For in Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things have been created through Him and for Him."
Colossians 1:16 LSB
That next to last three letter word, for, changed my understanding of what my purpose was! The purpose for which i was created was not for me! It was for Him! God created me for His Son, Jesus! This was such a relief! This was such a paradigm shift! To realize that i had thought my life was all about me all this time only to discover that it wasn't! And not only was i not created for me, but to know whom i was created for then exposed so many other lies that i had always believed.
The most immediate relationship that was impacted was my marriage. My husband and i had been married thirteen years at that point and had many ups and downs. And our downs were deeper than most. And we just happened 😉 to be in the lowest low of our marriage at that time. We both were under the impression that it was the other ones responsibility to make us happy. In those days, weeks and years when the other one was not making us happy we would look elsewhere. Whether that be other people or things or places. This only resulted in destruction time and time again. As God through His Word began to expose lie after lie that we had believed all our lives, by the truth of His Word - we then began to realize that we had been dead those 37 years. Now i know that sounds ridiculous. How could you be alive for 37 years and now come to the understanding that you were actually dead all along? As we continued to read His word and listen to His word and truly trust His word - we came to realize that we were dead all those years in the sense of being out of relationship with God. It wasn't until we were reconciled back to God the Father through His Son by His Holy Spirt that we realized we had actually been in the darkness all our lives. Alive in a physical sense but our hearts were actually dead because they were not connected to or in union with the One who created us. But now that we had been born again, really born again from above this time, we were in relationship with our Creator again! And this leads us to desire to seek Him through His Word and the more we hear, read and learn His Word the more lies get exposed! And the more the lies get exposed the more we come to understand what it really means to be a human being! And the more we learn the purpose of being a human being the more joy and peace we have!
At the same time, the more we understand the purpose for which God created us the more other areas are exposed where we have been complete failures. Such as in all those relationships and roles mentioned above.
Let's take being a wife for an example. i went from believing that it was in my husband i was suppose to find ultimate happiness and fulfillment to realizing that no matter how "good" of a man he was - God never created him to complete me. Therefore, he would have never been able to meet that ridiculous expectation i had of him for those first 13 years. Never! Why? Because he wasn't created for me nor i for him! We both, and you, were created for God! For His glory! To image Him! To glorify Him! And how else would we image Him but with love? All relationships take commitment, although different levels of commitment, nonetheless they all take commitment! They all require love. Sacrificial love! Love is commitment more so than a feeling! Relationships give us the opportunity to serve. To serve one another in love! In devotion! In faithfulness! In mercy, grace and forgiveness! And if God didn't provide these relationships for us to serve and love one another, how else would we know why He created us? He created us to know Him! To know His heart! To be in a relationship with our Creator. Our Maker! A relationship of trusting that He is good. He alone is good! Therefore, why would we not trust everything He has said? When you are drawn by the Father to His Son by the Holy Spirit - He draws you with faith! And that faith is the one thing you and i have been missing and seeking and searching for our entire lives. Faith in the right person! Not faith in me. Not faith in you. Not faith in our spouse. Not faith our parents. Not faith in our children. Not faith in the world! But faith in the very Son of God, Jesus Christ! And He alone gives that faith! It is a gift! We can be the "best" person we know, the most "moral" person we know, the most "generous" person we know and we still fall short of the glory of God. In and of ourselves, we fall short of the glory of God. We fail to image Him in all we think, say and do. We fail in the very purpose we were created for. Therefore we are in a most dreadful, dark, dead condition to do anything about it. We are in bondage to our self-centered, sinful wills. And it literally takes an act of God to give birth to us from above to bring us to life! Abundant life! Eternal life in His Son!
All of this to get to this point. The point is it has been 8 years now of our new life in Christ! And this morning i realized something. First of all, how powerful His work has been in our hearts! He has continued to renew our minds and transform our hearts that they become more and more unrecognizable from our old selves! Which is very good! But what else i realized is that the more He renews our minds the more responsible we become because we know truth. More truth every day. Today all this truth began to crash in my heart and helped me see, once again, even though now i know for what purpose we have been created and we have an entire book to direct our thoughts and actions, i am still failing to succeed at the very things i know i am here to do. Now we know a portion of the right things but yet we fail many times over at actually doing them and living them out faithfully. Knowing the truth is an ever heavy responsibility to bear. And it gets heavy. It is burdensome. And then i hear the voice of my Lord in His word remind me:
"All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son will to reveal Him. Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I and gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
This time i hear the voice of my Lord in His light and weighed down from the heaviness of knowing truth. He reminds me to rest in Him! And He gently reminds me of what i already know to be true by His grace, that i must not look to myself, but to Him!
Knowing your purpose reminds you to whom you run to for help!
Knowing your purpose reminds you from whom your helps comes!
Oh Abba Father, my Maker and the Creator of the heavens and the earth, You are sovereign! You are good! You are holy and You are my comfort and delight! i confess to You that knowing truth becomes burdensome and heavy. Truth comes with responsibility and i fail constantly. Once again somehow i began to look to myself that i could actually follow you faithfully only to realize once again that i cannot. Thank You for reminding me i am home with You in Your Son by Your Spirit! Thank You for rest! Thank You for allowing me to see that once again and in a new way that i cannot reflect your glory to the world around me on my own. i need You now and always! i want You now and always! You alone are my pleasure and treasure! Thank You for Your work in me! Thank You for renewing my mind and softening my heart to desire You and seek You! Thank You for Your Son, Your Word and Your Holy Spirit! Thank You for adopting me into Your Family! There's nothing better than being Your child! i confess to You that i am weak and that i am grateful to be reminded that i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. i ask Your forgiveness for once again mistaking my weakness for strength. It is not my strength it is Yours! Thank You for loving me and continuing to lead me in patience and love. In mercy and grace. In discipline and power! Thank You for the gift of Your Son and purifying us for Him! i ask for these reminders always. i need never to look to self but to Jesus always! Thank You for life in Christ! By Your grace, in Jesus' name, Amen!💙
