My dearest fellow females,
Are you proud of your independence? Are you seeking to ensure that you can take care of yourself no matter what life continues to throw your way? Are you seeking to secure for yourself, and possibly your kids, what you know no one else will?
Why would i ask you all these questions?
The answer to that question is going to sound corny and cliche, but the truth remains. i ask you these questions because i love you. I don't have to know you personally to love you, all i need to know (and i do) is that you are a fellow female in this world created by my Father and that fact is the basis for my love for you.
Let me address one quick thing before proceeding. i. i know that our grammar rules teach us that "i" is supposed to be capitalized. But, i have come to know a more important teacher than our culture and our grammar rules. This teacher, The Teacher of teachers, has taught me that I should actually be i. So, now that we have addressed the "grammatical error" let us move on!
Back to our questions about our independence and ensuring our security in this world. For the first 37 years of my life i was taught, through numerous avenues, that as a woman it was my duty and responsibility - my mission - to be independent. Meaning, able to take care of myself without the help from anyone else, especially a man. Has this been your experience as well?
i married just out of high school and almost immediately became pregnant. Long story short, two children and four years later, i filed for divorce. This left me with consequences i never saw coming as a single mom and being the sole provider for these two children. Desperate situations call for desperate measures, right? i had identified the problem as my ex-husband. It was him that was the problem, so now i just needed to find another man, not like him, but better. So the hunt was on and within two years, i married again. And unexpectedly, we ended up divorcing after 1 child and 4 years as well. Why? Well, this time along the same logic of the first divorce, i had identified the problem as my husband and thought i had found a better one than him. So of course it made perfect sense, the right thing to do was to get rid of the current husband and pursue a relationship with this "better man."
After only two years with the "better man" it became apparent that he was the problem as well. So i did the only logical thing, i re-married my second husband, again! Huh? Yeah you heard me right, i re-married husband #2. We tried much harder this second go around but it still included separations and affairs, but at least divorce was not an option.
After 11 years into our second marriage, something amazing took place! And when i say amazing that word is incredibly insufficient to communicate the reality of the transformation that took place in our lives and in our marriage. This transformation was family wide. Meaning, it did not just impact us in our marriage but it got to the very root of things influencing our lives in all arenas as we had known them.
My husband and i began to see one another differently. We began to see our roles as husband and wife differently. Our parenting style immediately changed. Our goals for our future and the immediate present transformed. It was weird and we didn't completely understand this blissful, yet complicated transition that was taking place in our lives. Right at the same time all of this was occurring at age 37, i had an urge to order a Bible online. i had professed to be a Christian since i was 16 after raising my hand to an altar call, repeating a prayer and getting baptized. i was told that i was then "saved" and no one could snatch me out of God's hands so i thought i was secure in the "church, spiritual, religion" department so from that point forward i focused on being "happy." And i have already shared my journey to "happiness."
Okay, so back to the BIG CHANGE that was taking place in our lives at 37. i got that Bible in the mail and began reading it. I get to John, chapter 3 and overheard Jesus' conversation with Nicodemus as Jesus is telling him that he must be born again in order to see AND to enter the kingdom of God. The complete shift that began to take place in my mind and my heart is truly un-explainable. i cannot put into words the complete about-face our lives have taken. The changes have been radical and immeasurable!
In short, by His mercy, God gave birth to me from above. i know how weird that sounds, but it is absolutely true! i did not even understand all of the changes that were taking place in my life until i received that Bible and began reading it. The more i read, the more i was given insight and understanding to what was taking place in me! And not just me, but my family! The more i read the Bible the more truth i understood. And the more truth i understood the more i realized how much of my life was based on lies. Beginning with the whole "independence" thing. Holy cow, how was i 37 years old and did not know that i was born dead. Dead meaning separated from God, exiled from His presence. i was not born God's child. i was born, as default, the devil's seed (child). i was born a sinner. Sinner meaning an enemy of God seeking autonomy (independence). i was born in the dark. Dark meaning influenced only by satan and sin. i was born blind. Blind meaning not able to see and know the things of God. i was born a fool. Fool meaning that i trusted myself and my thoughts and the culture and "education" all around me, whether it be what i learned in school, from my parents, from music, from television, advertising and the list could go on and on. How was i 37 years old, married, a mother of 3 teenagers and this was news to me? i never knew. Honestly, i never knew. But, as i read the Bible, my life, my choices, my trials, my tribulations, my traumas, my confusion, my circumstances all began to make sense. Perfect sense.
i won't go into details (sometimes, no, a lot of times, that is my weakness) but i will share this video with you. This message is only about an hour of your entire life to hear the truth! These are truths that God, our Creator, has authored and preserved for us to know! Truth is the only key to unlocking us from the mental prison we have been in all our lives. Truth is the light that shines in the darkness and exposes ALL THE LIES we have believed since birth! Truth is the bread we have been hungering for! Truth is the water our souls have thirsted for since we can remember! Truth is life! Truth is the freedom we have truly been longing for all our lives! Truth has a name and His name is Jesus! May He set you free like He did me and my family! To Him alone be the glory! Amen!
⚠When we wrongly identify the problem, we seek the wrong solutions.
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