The Man i Didn't Know How To Love

He asked if i'd marry him and i said yes!

We were married for 4 years and then divorced for 2. 

i didn't know what love was. 

We re-married and we tried even harder the second time around. 

i still didn't know what love was. 

Then, 7 years into our second marriage to each other, 

another man entered the picture.

This man revealed himself to me in a way i never expected. 

i suddenly saw the evil that had resided in my heart all my life.

i knew immediately that i was in desperate need of help.

i felt dirty, shamed and guilty. 

i was dirty, shamed and guilty. 

As soon as my eyes were opened to see my nakedness, 

He was quick to clothe me. 

He washed me.

He covered me. 

He embraced me. 

He welcomed me. 

This Man. 

This Man was Jesus! 

His Holy Spirit was gifted to me to feel His Presence, 

not just with me, but IN me! 

This Man is LOVE! 

This Man has been leading me, 

teaching me, 

providing for me, 

protecting me,

embracing me,

disciplining me,

forming me, 

living in me, 

ever since! 

This Man captured my heart! 

He gave me a NEW heart! 

This new heart is not yet complete but is being

created, day by day!

This new heart is led by love, 

real. 

true. 

authentic. 

sacrificial.

Love! 

Not the generic love the culture sells. 

This heart has been given new eyes! 

New ears! 

This new heart adores this Man! 

This new heart lives in the Presence of God! 

This new heart has been reconciled to the Father 

through His Son, by His Spirit! 

This new heart was given the gift of saving faith!

Belief! AND Repentance! 

Miracles are absolutely real! 

And there is one Author of them all. 

The Lord Jesus Christ! 

This Man who intervened in this marriage 

with this man i didn't know how to love 

has made me a new human!

A new woman! 

A new wife! 

A new mom! 

A new grandma! 

This new woman now KNOWS that how i love this man 

i am married to is to pour out on him what Jesus daily pours in me. 

Gratitude!

Love!

Joy!

Peace! 

Patience!

Kindness!

Goodness!

Faithfulness!

Gentleness!

and self-control!

Am i good at it? 

Well, not yet! 

This new heart is being molded and constructed daily! 

This renovation will not be over until i die or Jesus returns! 

But, that is the hope that anchors my soul! Jesus is His name! 

This Man, and ONLY this Man could teach me what love is! 

Jesus used my brokenness, my sin, my rebellion to open my eyes 

to the reality that....He....was the Man that i didn't know how to love. 

This is the image of Him that

i have been so undeservedly blessed with to love until i meet Him face to face! 

This is the image of Him i get to be married to for now!

This is the image of Him, i get to worship my God and my Savior with in new ways with this new heart that desires to serve him daily, as my Creator originally created me to! 

This is the human being, the image of God, that i am learning to love as i always should have, but didn't.

This is the marriage that only Jesus could have reconciled by His grace for His glory....not to mention our endless, unspeakable joy of being quickened to life from death!